It Takes Work to Stay Motivated

    Of course as stated in previous blogs I want to lose a great deal of weight...I want it so bad I can taste it and I am off to a good start... I am changing my eating habits and I have recently initiated an exercise program. It should all be easy from here on out ...right?? Not at all!
    It truthfully takes a daily renewal of the decision to continue eating right and exercising. I think I am a strong person...I mean I am a cancer survivor...so I can do anything but I feel like an addict and in a way I am...I am addicted to food. I hate that part of myself!! I know hate is a strong word but it is so true. I hate the fact that I am fat...I hate what I look like in the mirror...I hate not being able to believe compliments I receive because I don't see it in myself...and most of all I hate my weakness for getting this way in the first place!
    I am so thankful for the support system I have. If it weren't for the amazing continued support I receive I am not sure how I would keep going. It makes me feel so damned weak and very angry at myself that I even need help. I hope that someday this will all be a distant memory and I will look back on it and chuckle.
    I feel like these blogs also help keep me focused on my goals ...they have become my own personal therapy. I am often writing about things in these blogs that I have never told anyone before. I am so glad that I started. Just getting some of these topics off of my chest sure has helped me work through some difficult subjects.