If At First You Don't Succeed......

     So I have been on the Weight Watchers program officially since January 27th of this year...but I didn't really start it  hardcore until Mid to late February. I had some success but not what I wanted to see. March 6th I was put in the hospital for an asthma exacerbation and walking pneumonia. While there I requested to be placed on a 1500 calorie low fat diet. I was in the hospital for 11 days and I lost 10 pounds. So after I got out of the hospital I went back to counting points and noticed my weight loss coming to a screeching HALT!
     I had been doing a great deal of walking with my chocolate lab Maxwell and decided I needed to up the exercise regimen....so I added in a very strenuous exercise routine with the help of my sister called Turbo Fire. The first week when I weighed in I wasn't concerned with no weight loss...But as the weeks kept showing little to no weight loss and even gaining weight back I began to get worried.
     I was feeling so fragile at times when I would step on that blasted scale and see no weight loss. When my family and friends would ask how much weight I had lost this week and I would tell them nothing or like last week with a weight gain it simply killed me. I was so ashamed of myself. I figured they were disappointed in me too and that hurt even more.
    So I decided I needed to look back and figure out what the hell was going wrong...what wass working and what simply was NOT helping me lose weight. I looked back at when I was losing weight and came to a realization...it was not enough for me just to watch my mgs of fat, carbs, dietary fiber, and protein as Weight Watchers does. I needed to watch my calories and limit my carbs to a specific amount a day. Weight Watchers(WW) allows you to eat all the fresh fruits and veggies you want...but fruits can have a huge amount of calories. I added up the amount of calories I had ingested in fruits over the past week and it was staggering...in one day I had taken in like 300+ calories just in fruits and 250 calories in veggies...no sauces...just the fruits and vegetables in their natural state. That's 550+ calories that WW doesn't account for...but I realized that I had to start.
     So after talking to my best friend Josh we both decided to quit WW and utilize sparkpeople.com  The Spark is a book that spells the entire program out for you if you want or you can get tips, recipes, and the website for free! So Now I will be saving $30+ a month that I can use to buy the groceries I need to eat right! And Sparkpeople has a way to adjust your daily intake levels of calories, carbs, fats and proteins...as well as anything else you want to follow such as sodium(which I started watching this week). You can also keep track of your fitness minutes. You can give yourself weekly and daily goals as well which I  really like.  In a way it is like having your own coach. I am hopeful that I am now making some great strides towards my weight loss goals!! 

It Takes Work to Stay Motivated

    Of course as stated in previous blogs I want to lose a great deal of weight...I want it so bad I can taste it and I am off to a good start... I am changing my eating habits and I have recently initiated an exercise program. It should all be easy from here on out ...right?? Not at all!
    It truthfully takes a daily renewal of the decision to continue eating right and exercising. I think I am a strong person...I mean I am a cancer survivor...so I can do anything but I feel like an addict and in a way I am...I am addicted to food. I hate that part of myself!! I know hate is a strong word but it is so true. I hate the fact that I am fat...I hate what I look like in the mirror...I hate not being able to believe compliments I receive because I don't see it in myself...and most of all I hate my weakness for getting this way in the first place!
    I am so thankful for the support system I have. If it weren't for the amazing continued support I receive I am not sure how I would keep going. It makes me feel so damned weak and very angry at myself that I even need help. I hope that someday this will all be a distant memory and I will look back on it and chuckle.
    I feel like these blogs also help keep me focused on my goals ...they have become my own personal therapy. I am often writing about things in these blogs that I have never told anyone before. I am so glad that I started. Just getting some of these topics off of my chest sure has helped me work through some difficult subjects.